Love Does at Christmastime

“You don't need a plan; you just need to be present.” 

Bob Goff

I have been ready to come home since August. Not typically the homebody type, this longing to just sit on my own couch and tell jokes with my siblings was a new one. Don't get me wrong; I love my family! I think for a while I just relied too much on my love for independence as well.

The semester flew by. Lots of changes and challenges came with the new season but nothing was stirring or pushing me outside of my comfort zone. You know that feeling when everyday is routine? 

When sometimes you go to sleep at night unable to recall anything you may have done purposefully that day...

That thought plagued me. I was diving into The Word more, engaging in wonderful, beneficial conversations, stretching myself to draw closer to my grandma, but where was my heart? I think sometimes we get so caught up in the by-products of our faith that sometimes we neglect the Creator who in fact wants to hear from us. 

During this time my prayers became more sparse and general than they had in a long time. But I didn't think that was a problem until I realized that I was no longer being convicted of anything. Now this is not a good place to be in. How do we grow if we don't recognize and feel the guilt and shame of our actions and thoughts that are not of God? He began to work in these corners of my heart. Since the beginning of November my family has been on my mind. Not in the way it had been around August time, but in a deep way, as if God Himself was working out something and inviting me to be a part. 

I'm not going to go into the details but as this new feeling came over me my prayers began to shift, mold and take a purposeful form. I wouldn't be home for two more months. However, each day was a new opportunity to encourage someone, learn from someone, be spontaneous and share joy. Maybe we can't feed or house someone every day, but we can be present with people...even if just one. A listening ear brings healing, inspiration and comfort. As the days passed I found encouragement in listening to my friends as they sorted out their thoughts and peace as I reciprocated. There was joy in seizing the moments -however small they seemed. 

Each day led me closer to coming home. While I'm still not sure what is in the works, I know that God works all things for His purposes. When we want to plan God wants trust. Isaiah 40:31 says, "But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." 

We have been called to be faithful in the little things. But this cannot be done without a heart seeking first and foremost after the God that commands all things into being. Waiting upon God goes against our pull-up-by-the-bootstrap culture. Here is a perspective on waiting that might help you as it has for me: waiting is not passive, it is a commitment to be ready for when His time calls us. Being ready takes preparation and I think that comes in presence. Jim Elliot wrote "wherever you are, be all there". Each day holds infinite opportunities to "be all there" whether that be by listening or learning to say "yes" at a new opportunity. My friend Sam has challenged me the last month to engage in life, saying yes to the things I normally pass up. This was NOT easy for me, but has surprisingly (although I shouldn't be surprised) prepared me for this time at home. 

Where am I going with all of this? I don't know. While I wanted to write about my recent church experience this seemed like the first step. Maybe I'll get around to more... All I can say is that we are given opportunities daily to be present with those around us. To pass them up is to pass up a chance to live purposefully in the times when it may seem unclear what we can and should be doing. It is in these moments of presence that we gain clarity for the plans of the future. As I am finally sitting on my couch writing this (with 6 food-guzzling freshman boys laughing about who knows what in the basement below me...ahh! *pulls hair* they just ate my pizza!) I am so glad to be home for Christmas and what all that may entail. But more so, I am thankful for the faithfulness of God and the brothers and sisters that without their knowing, challenge and encourage me with their presence. Learning from their example has been life-changing.

Where have you witnessed someone's presence? And how can you be present to anyone where you are?

Okay, this is long enough and I need to see if they've left any supper for me! So long for now readers!

 Merry Christmas!